This is the last post of my project. At least for now. I will turn it in tomorrow night. I want to thank all 600 of you who have read this blog over the last four months. You read it from 4 continents. You sent me links you thought I would like and you commented. You contributed. And hopefully, as I learned you learned.
As you watched me go from my first post, discussing handicapped parking, saying we should “be grateful” we don’t need “those spots.” To now realizing that abled people should not be happy they don’t have a disability and pity those who do. We should recognize that everyone has the right to accessibility in this country and that includes their transportation. We have a right to independence. Anything that allows a person that independence and accessibility to the rest of the world deserves respect because people fought for those rights and the allowance of those spots, those bathroom stalls, that braille on the sign, the talking ATM, the lifts in the public pool, the policies in the schools and the laws in the workplace. They’re well-deserved and necessary.
As you read my very mixed up feelings on aborting disabled children. Where I spend a lot of time arguing about families who consider abortion because their not prepared to raise a disabled child and not talking about the bigger societal issue at hand: it is even more difficult to raise a disabled child because of cultural and institutional roadblocks. While it may be difficult in general, if there were more services, accessibility and the stigma of disability was different, raising a child who doesn’t fit the norm could be very different. Choices might be different.
While I talked about love and sex for people with disabilities. But without ever asking myself why I felt (or “we” as a society) think it’s our business to talk about the sex lives of “different” people. Why being an “other” makes your very private business our topic of discussion. You should not ask a transgendered person if they are post-op and how they have sex, you shouldn’t ask a queer person about what they do either. What a person does in their own bedroom is their own business. So unless they want to share it, don’t act like it makes sense to ask. It might be different from what you do, but c’mon you wouldn’t want people thinking about what you do all the time would you?
As I questioned the treatment of the disabled in an airport and hated on hate crimes.
While I learned about how people with disabilities can see the world far far better than I can.
And I realize that kids with disabilities just want what any other kid wants; to be accepted by society through what they know: superheros and toys. And what a difference this can make for their self-esteem and identity development.
I learned about how things that seem like great ideas on the surface, are actually really shaming of people with certain handicaps. Because in a society where “ability” is “good,” we are seeing an “inability” as “bad.”
And questioned the idea of “walking in someone’s shoes.” Because you can’t. If you’re not disabled, you’re not disabled. You don’t have to know what it feels like through a charade. You don’t feel the stereotypes and the stigma and the everyday experience. We are saying “well all blind people have the same experience being blind so now I get it too!” We don’t know what each individual has been through. You don’t need a charade to be empathic and respectful. You can be an advocate without a blindfold or earplugs. You can stand up because you’re a person who gets treated like a person and often an individual with a disability is treated like a disability.
I learned about crazy innovations that are rocking the amputee world
I just learned a lot about isms in general, and how we like to categorize people because it’s what society, history, media and people say we should do.
I learned about how these generalizations destroy our ability to see people as people, instead we see them as black, white, Asian, Muslim, deaf, Mormon, gay, transgendered, mentally disabled, bipolar, a single parent, male, an immigrant, elderly, a woman, wealthy, a teenage mother, Korean, a non-English speaker, African, overweight, diabetic, anorexic, Jewish, suicidal…
And then make decisions that they are happy, needy, angry, loud, independent, foreign, frail, strong, emotional, promiscuous, dangerous, a criminal, greedy, stupid, a genius, lazy, a terrorist, crazy, unwell, fat, skinny, sick, lost…
…without ever bothering to get to know them
I learned these assumptions are dangerous. They hurt people. They hurt society. They keep people down and others up. They prevent children from learning, they keep adults from learning. They keep individuals from reaching their potential: jobs, rights, homes, education, happiness. Ableism is one ism in a world filled with isms. Full of categories made up of assumptions, slurs, microaggressions and hierarchies. I learned this is a problem. I learned that maybe the only way to solve this is through education and communication.
And I learned that I have hope.
Thank you,
Kenzi Locks
Masters in Science of Social Work, Class of 2014.
Columbia University